According to studies, 92 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. You’ve practically got a better shot at getting into Juilliard to become a ballerina than you do at finishing your goals.
For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t try hard enough. So I started getting up earlier. I drank enough energy drinks to kill a horse. I hired a life coach and ate more superfoods. Nothing worked, although I did develop a pretty nice eyelid tremor from all the caffeine. It was like my eye was waving at you, very, very quickly.
Then, while leading a thirty-day online course to help people work on their goals, I learned something surprising: The most effective exercises were not those that pushed people to work harder. The ones that got people to the finish line did just the opposite— they took the pressure off.
Why? Because the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism. We’re our own worst critics, and if it looks like we’re not going to do something right, we prefer not to do it at all. That’s why we’re most likely to quit on day two, “the day after perfect”—when our results almost always underperform our aspirations.
The strategies in this book are counterintuitive and might feel like cheating. But they’re based on studies conducted by a university researcher with hundreds of participants. You might not guess that having more fun, eliminating your secret rules, and choosing something to bomb intentionally works. But the data says otherwise. People who have fun are 43 percent more successful! Imagine if your diet, guitar playing, or small business was 43 percent more successful just by following a few simple principles.
If you’re tired of being a chronic starter and want to become a consistent finisher, you have two options: You can continue to beat yourself up and try harder, since this time that will work. Or you can give yourself the gift of done.
根據研究,92%的新年下定的決心都失敗。你實際上應該可以有更好機會進入茱莉亞學院成為芭蕾舞女演員而不僅僅是完成目標而已。
多年來,我認為自己的問題是不夠努力。於是我開始早起。我喝了足夠的能量飲料來面對艱難挑戰。我雇用了一個生活教練,吃了更多的超級食物,沒有任何效果。雖然我確實因為咖啡因而產生了一種非常漂亮的眼瞼震顫,就像我的眼睛向你非常迅速地揮手一樣。
然後,在引導為期三十天的線上課程幫助人們實現目標時,我學到了一些令人驚訝的東西:最有效的練習並不是那些促使人們更努力工作的練習。那些讓人們走向終點線的練習恰好相反 -- 他們減輕了壓力。
為什麼?因為實現目標的最棘手的障礙不是懶惰,而是完美主義。我們自己通常是最糟糕的批評者,如果看起來我們不能做好的事情,我們寧願不去做。這就是為什麼,當我們的結果幾乎總是低於願望時,最有可能在第二天退出--"完美後的第二天"。
本書中的策略是違反直覺的,可能會感覺像是作弊。但它是根據一個有數百名參與者的大學研究員進行的研究為基礎。你可能不會猜想到有更多的樂趣,消除你的秘密規則,並選擇一些艱困的工作會有成效,但數據顯示不然。做事情有樂趣的人成功率會高出43%!想像一下,只要遵循一些簡單的原則,你的飲食、吉他彈奏或小型事業的成功率就會提高43%。
如果你厭倦了成為一個習慣性的開啟者,而是希望成為一個穩定的完工者,你有兩個選擇:你可以繼續打敗自己,並努力嘗試,因為這一次將會有成效。或者你可以給自己一個「已完成」的禮物。
(文字整理/徐琍沂&劉世明)